Saturday 20th May

Lie-in

Our past few trips have been early get-ups – 2 or 3 in the morning. Waking up to an alarm at 0530 wasn’t all that jarring, this time around. Pip and I bound out of bed – Pip heading across the landing to the shower, as I flopped downstairs to rustle up some muesli. Easy peasy, right? Nope. I added a dash of honey to it, but put it back in the cupboard awkwardly leading it to drop right back out, clip the edge of the bowl on the counter and spread honey-covered muesli all over the kitchen. By the time I’d cleaned it up, I didn’t have all that much time to remake and eat it, so breakfast was a bit of a frantic rush, despite setting our alarms a little earlier to account for it.

We enticed the neighbourhood cat that we’ve softly adopted, Ernauld, in for some last-minute 6 am treats, before loading the weighed cases into the car and heading over to the Tinkers, where we met Beth, Christian & Vic. The taxi arrived soon after to whisk us off to Manchester Airport. A speedy transfer, queue-less luggage drop and a calm security checkpoint left ample time for a Boots meal deal and a Starbucks before our flight.

Teresa whipped out a couple of sheets of paper, adorned with endless information about our trip, local restaurants, sights, transfer information, contact details, restaurant opening times, and questions to ask our host. It made me realise how underprepared I was for this trip, compared to normal where I (or Pip & I) had organised and booked it.

On the flight I sat on the aisle, with Pip, Nige & Teresa on the 3 seats to my left, and two strangers next to me. Chris, furthest away, leaned over and introduced himself followed by his wife Sarah, before following up with “This is Sarah’s second flight”. I instinctively said “Are you nervous?”, which was a logical follow-up in my head, only for her reply to be a seemingly confused “No, not really…”. We didn’t speak again, other than the occasional nod to each other from across the luggage carrousel after landing.

We were greeted in the airport by our Taxi driver, who escorted us to our blacked-out Mercedes people carrier. After a short delay waiting for the parking barriers to function, we were en-route to Lago di Orta. The first 90% of the journey was wholly uninspiring, but as soon as the lake came into view, the gasps and ‘ah’s’ coming out of the back seats of the van told a different story, as we squeezed through the narrow tourist-laden streets of Orta San Giulio.

Once we’d pulled up to the Piazza, which overlooked the island, we were greeted by Andrew, our Host. An eccentric man, with a rather thick Mancunian accent for a man who lives in Italy. There were hints of Italian that poked through, especially when he references place names or ‘euro’. He talked, thought and acted at 100 miles an hour – Full of the charm and enthusiasm of a Mancunian, where his Das was from, but with the laid-back confidence of an Italian, where his Mother was from. He rattled through some important instructions for how to access the villa, care for it, do your shopping, and other information, much of which only came to us later when we chatted amongst ourselves and pieced it all together.

Villa Monziani

He ushered me, Nige & Christian into the boat, presuming (Correctly, mind you) that we would be the ‘drivers’. Sailors? He took us over whilst whistling through some pretty lax instructions about the boat, then dropped me off, and took Christian & Nige out for a more in-depth run-through of it. Although, it ended up being myself and Christian doing most of the boat driving, so whatever he told them couldn’t have been that crucial to the regular running of the vessel, as I didn’t hear it! After the crash course in Lake Sailing, they went across to pick up the girls and the cases, as well as drop Andrew off at shore.

For context, ‘Shore’ was Orta San Giulio – just south of Milan, West of Lake Maggiore. I was waiting for them all to return to Isola San Giulio – a tiny island, less than a mile in circumference, predominantly made up of a convent for local nuns. The entire centre and majority of the outer buildings were Convent buildings. Two villas including ours were AirBnb’s, there was a restaurant, a church and a gift shop. A few private residential properties and not much else. Serene, isolated, tranquil and unique.

The villa was a 4-storey spectacle, which must run into the millions of euros. It wore thick whitewashed walls, original features, gigantic wooden beam-lined ceilings, and large original wooden doors, none of which looked straight. Nothing in the villa was straight – every floor tilted one way or another, every door frame tilted, the fireplace made you dizzy if you looked at it for too long, it was so out of plumb – even the bookshelves leaned forward and only just clung onto the vintage pages which perched atop them. The windows looked level, which only made the walls holding them look more askew. It didn’t stop us waving at tourists passing by in taxi boats.

Tea break

We had a cup of tea in the grandiose lounge, which sported 3 large sofas in a square around a giant yet low marble coffee table. After a quick refresher, we all went for a lap of the island, as the bells were dinging and donging. One lap was around 0.22 of a mile, meaning if weren’t ambling around and taking in the views, you could loop around and overtake your friends in a matter of minutes. The basilica on the island was spectacular, complete with beautifully painted ceilings and walls, the welcoming smell of incense in the air, and light pouring in through the windows; more on that tomorrow. We got a little giddy when we saw a nun gracefully and modestly walk over an overhead walkway linking the central convent to the outer buildings.

After our familiarisation lap, we headed back to plan out the rest of our day – we needed some short-term food to keep us going tonight, before a bigger shop tomorrow, so put together a list for some of us to go out and source. Essentials like pasta, bread, sauces, and milk. Christian & I volunteered to do the shop. In fact, Christian and I volunteered to do anything and everything that even remotely involved using the boat. Christian took us over to the mainland, and I handled the return journey.

Thanks to Andrew leaving a few essentials in the cupboard, Teresa was able to start rustling up some tea, which was ready for when we returned. We were more empty-handed than we wanted to be, but the little shop we were using wasn’t quite the supermarket we expected. We ate well that night, a spicy sausage dish with garlic bread and plenty of red wine.

Later on, we set aside some time to get the projector working – to cut a long story short, we never did manage. That night, and every other night of the holiday, we went without anything to watch together – instead opting for a bit of time on our phones editing pictures and responding to messages, plenty of chatting, and a healthy dosage of Solitaire, card games, Aces Up & Gin Rummy.

Sunday 21st May

Our first morning at the villa – Pip and I were up at 0630, as a force of habit, but we were glad we were. We peered out of the high window in our room to see Orta San Giulio sitting just above a gorgeously still lake Orta. The 2 flights of stairs and wonky floors make the daily trip downstairs for coffee a bit more of an ordeal than at home, but it’s more than worth it to enjoy a warm brew whilst watching the sun creep its way down from the top of the hills in the distance, down to the lake over the next hour.

Everyone else in the Villa slowly woke up, and the task of cutting, grilling, toasting & buttering bread commenced. We had a modest cheese on toast for breakfast, for lack of any other breakfast supplies. We were starting to learn the quirks of the place. Everywhere was cold unless the heaters were on for an hour or so, the toaster was rubbish, the coffee maker leaked and the light switches were anyone’s guess as to what would come on.

Cold dip

We all wanted a swim in the lake – little did we know at this point how cold it was as we all scuttled upstairs to pull out swim shorts and swimming costumes, without knowing that my wetsuit would have been a better option! Nige went in first, bravely sinking to the bottom rung on the dock ladder, waiting for a few moments to regret his choices, before dunking in and paddling out to keep warm. Christian and I were next – Christian followed Nigel’s lead, heading straight down to the bottom rung of the dock ladder, whilst I went round the side on the sloped boat ramp – I found that a little easier, and judging by how long it took Christian to take the plunge, I think I made the right, more gradual, choice.

The lake was seriously cold – the coldest water I’ve ever been in, at least fully submerged. It didn’t feel as bad after a few minutes of swimming around, but we all concluded we had just become numb. I specifically remember my neck hurting, because I think I was so subconsciously stiff & tense from the cold. Whilst I chased ducks in the lake, supported by swooping swallows, the girls all took the plunge one by one. All offered much-needed encouragement to each other as they lowered into the water.

10 minutes later, we’d all decided that was enough – we could say we’d done it, we had the pictures, and now we wanted to get warm! Teresa had done her research and knew there to be a mass at the Basilica on the island at 11 am, where the Nuns sang the hymns along with the congregation. We showered, dried off, put on our Sunday best and headed on over (the 40-second walk).

Sunday service

The Basilica is gorgeous. All the walls contain some sort of decorative painting, some in better condition than others. The ceiling is a literal work of art, featuring cherubs, angels, various men, women, saints etc, all painted beautifully across the entire span. There was a lower portion dedicated just to lighting candles and saying prayers. The entire building was fairly large, despite the seating area taking up a small square in the middle. Despite arriving 15 minutes early, we struggled to find enough seats, especially for 7 of us all together. Nige & Teresa found a pew close to the back of the main congregation, whilst Pip, Beth, Vic, Christian & I squeezed onto a small pew right at the back wall. As the priests entered and kicked things off, the Nuns appeared from the back door, less than a meter to my left. Because of the way the door opened, my view of them was blocked by it, and I only saw black and white flashes glancing past a frosted glass window, almost endlessly! Vic, who had a better view, counted 61 Nuns.

The entire mass was in Italian – obvious in hindsight, but we completely forgot that might be the case. It followed the same format as any other mass I’d been to, so whilst I wasn’t clued up on what was being said, I could track in what part of the service we were in. The incense used in the service smelt amazing, but also acted as a slight fog in the air, allowing the light from the window right at the top of the church to be intensely visible, as it shined down onto the nuns in a sharp, straight and beautiful beam. You could hear the birds cheeping outside, throughout the whole service, which made it that big more special – that, and the 60+ Nuns all singing the Hymns.

La Campana

For lunch, we took the boat over to Orta to seek out a recommendation for Pizza – ‘La Campana’. “Hola!” Teresa said to the waiter outside, who barely spoke English, let alone Spanish. We managed to find a table for 7, together, inside and settled in. Christian, Nigel & I all went with the house special pizza, ‘La Campana’ – it was a seafood pizza, complete with Squid, muscles and other aquatic varieties. We all agreed that it was nice and were glad we tried it, however, we were all a little jealous of the girl’s ‘Diavolina’ (A spicy salami pizza). On the table next to us, a couple sat and enjoyed a pizza each, but just as we expected a dessert to come out for them, the bloke ordered what looked like a 12-inch garlic bread, all to himself. I wished I spoke Italian just so I could hear and better understand why he was double-hitting mains whilst she watched.

Pip & I wandered around Orta, after lunch. We did a bit of a loop, starting along the coast and heading south, before turning up a cobbled climb I’d seen from the taxi. It took us up a one-car-wide road, with expensive villas on each side. We turned off and headed back down to the coast as we reached the junction for Sacro Monte. Once back in the town, we familiarised ourselves with Orta some more, bumped into some Golden Retrievers, and stopped at a ceramics shop for a little Sunflower trinket.

Closed on Sundays

The key task for today, aside from swimming, church and pizza, was to do a bigger shop to sustain us for a few meals, as well as top up on essentials, breakfast supplies etc. What complicated this somewhat simple task was we had to do it by boat. We knew there was a supermarket in Pella, just up the lake from us, but how and where we docked up to access it was another thing. We took the 10-minute boat ride, with Nige at the helm, and after a lot of skirting up and down the shore to find a suitable (public) dock, we ended up pulling up outside a hotel, with all the restaurant-goers watching us pull up. At the time, this felt very weird – was this private? Did we have to exit through the hotel? Could we exit through the hotel? I felt like a pirate, as we shakily pulled up to the floating dock, hitched up, hoisted each other out, and scuttled through the 3* hotel, and out the front door.

The supermarket, according to Google Maps, re-opened at 3 pm – all 7 of us were standing outside, peering through the windows, armed with a trolley at 2 minutes to 3. I bet we seemed keen. As the minutes ticked by, and 3 pm came and went, a local pulled up. They took one look at a little A4 sign taped to the window, shrugged, and walked off. We called them back and attempted to ask them if it would ever open. They replied something along the lines of “No. Monday”. We were a little stuck at this point, as we didn’t have all that much for dinner.

The journey back was dreadful. The weather had darkened, wind picked up, and a light rain lined the air. The waves crashing against the boat throughout the 10-minute journey drenched us. Nigel’s grey hoodie was now black, Pip, Vic & Teresa’s hair was all soaked, and my hands had gone a nice shade of white.

After arriving back at the villa, empty-handed and cold-bodied, Christian & I decided to adorn some Villa Monziani-branded North Face Jackets and brave the shorter trip back over to Orta, and the smaller shop we’d used the day before. We knew the shop was limited, so did the best we could – a few pasta sauces, some bread, cheese, wine and some other treats. Christian made the last-minute decision to buy some Nutella for breakfast. As soon as it hit the counter, the lady saw it and said “For Nutella, you need bread!” before dropping 1, 2, 3 loaves into a fresh paper bag for us – the body language said, “It’s on the house”. We now had 5 loaves of bread, and almost wished we didn’t get the first 2, now we’d discovered the Nutella cheat code. Tea was waiting for us when we got back, which was beautiful!

Running in circles

After tea, I fancied going on a run – not yet confident enough to take the boat out on my own, I opted to run laps of the island – one to remember. The island is 0.22m round with just one cobbled road around the circumference. Even a 5k is just shy of 15 laps. A few straggling tourists saw me 4 or 5 times, before disappearing. On another lap, the only restaurant closed up and the staff walked past. 1 lap later the priest on the island for the basilica retreated to his home. Then on the final few laps, the gift shop doors closed, and the attendant walked home. The final victory lap was peaceful, if a little monotonous.

I got back to hear there was a power cut which was eventful. We had dinner by candlelight before contacting Andrew to help us reset the power, then enjoyed some wine with Garlic bread and chocolate with intermittent games of cards, and tales of NHS woes!

Monday 22nd May

Snow on the tops

It was always written in the stars (Met Office, BBC, Google) that Monday was going to be a chilly one. The reports of strong winds, snow & rain were 60% true – there was fresh snowfall atop the mountains in the distance, but down on the lake we only suffered wind and rain. It got down to as low as 1 degrees overnight and a brisk 5 degrees greeted us as we all woke up for day 3.

Our goal today was to tick off the failed supermarket run from yesterday, for which choppy skies and cold weather weren’t ideal. Don’t get me wrong: I still loved using the boat, but there’s a lot to be said for a cosy car ride to the supermarket instead of over choppy seas, mooring up, walking to the shop and carting it all back in a backpack and plastic bags.

It was decided that Christian and I would do the supermarket trip alone. The girls in the villa saw it as us taking one for the team, braving the weather for the greater good. Christian & I both saw it as a bit of a rip about on the boat with a chance to warm up in a shop in the middle. Win-win for all involved. We felt a bit of a fraud as everyone was consoling us and thanking us for the arduous task, whilst we giddily packed our rucksacks with extra bags, untied the boat and excitedly sped off into slightly choppy waters, gradually eking up to full throttle and 5,000 RPM.

We arrived at the dock after heading northeast up to Pettenasco with a little more confidence than last time – pulling up and marching around the side of the hotel this time without fear of being shouted at. After a short walk to the supermarket, armed with a list and a couple of extras pinged over our WhatsApp chat, we paid up, packed and headed back to the villa.

We were greeted with coffee & chocolate as a thank-you for our efforts.

Diavolina

In the afternoon, as the weather subsided slightly, we all took the trip back over to Orta. We split up and went about exploring the town a little more. Pip and I aimlessly wandered around and found ourselves in ‘Cafe des Arts’ for a pizza. Unfortunately, the main portion of the restaurant was filled, so we opted for a seat in the back area. Although, we fancied a nice quiet pizza, and that’s exactly what we got, as 2 Diavolina pizzas rocked up. I’d had a hankering for once after seeing them yesterday. This was only a top-up, as the plan was to rustle up a nice risotto for tea.

Running solo

After returning to the villa and rinsing through multiple games of Aces Up on the uncomfortably low table, I stopped ignoring the urge to go on a longer run. I put on my running gear, HR strap and trail shoes, and announced I’d be stealing the boat for an hour or so. This was my first time using the boat alone. It’s easy to drive on its own, but mooring is a different story. In perfect conditions, it’s only a tiny bit harder given there’s nobody to hook onto the dock as you approach. However, today was windy. This made for a trickier manoeuvre.

I took a coat for the journey there & back and attempted the solo journey. Another boat was parked up on the left-hand side of the dock, leaving only the right side free. The wind, now coming from the north, blowing from left to right of the dock, made the entry pretty tough. I was trying to smoothly approach the dock, but the wind would push me further right as I did so. A bit of back and forth, and I managed it. It wasn’t the prettiest or smoothest of dockings, but it got the job done. I stashed the keys in my pocket, and my coat in a storage box, before starting my watch and following the white line it had traced for me, up into the hills.

The first 3 miles of the run racked up close to 800ft of climbing, which was thankfully broken up by the occasional stop to check my bearings and make sure I was not running blindly into the Italian hills in the wrong direction. Despite selecting ‘road’ when mapping out the route, it was surprisingly nice, quiet and secluded. Most of the paths were gravel paths, or at least paved private walkways. The occasional stretch on the roads, but always quiet. The weather wasn’t ideal, but it made for much richer greens than you might normally get! 7 miles later, dropping back down into Orta from the northern (Pettenasco) side, I hopped back in the boat, put on my jacket, untied it from the dock, and cooled off on the short journey back.

Risotto & chocolate

Showered, changed and headed down for dinner, where a gorgeous risotto, complete with white wine was waiting for us all. After wolfing it down, and retiring to the lounge, we found ourselves on the topic of all things food, and eating habits. It wound up being incredibly interesting, as we all delved into topics of cravings, portions, our relationship with food, how it’s changed etc. Maybe we were all just thinking of the chocolate we knew was in the fridge.

We did a little wander around the island after a cup of tea and some squares of chocolate, which was a little eerie – especially when the occasional priest or nun wandered past, quietly.

Tuesday 23rd May

Antica Torre

Tuesday was a little bit sunnier, but the serenity of the lake didn’t return. We didn’t have much planned today, so decided to take the boat out towards Pella, which is just to the west of the island. We got ourselves all geared up with our jackets and coats because it wasn’t exactly the warmest of days. We sailed over to Pella and docked up without a hitch. There were multiple docks to choose from, but the decision of which one to aim for was decided Nigel did not want to hit the ducks.

Pella didn’t disappoint, but it also didn’t wow. There wasn’t all that much there – a couple of coffee shops, a few statues and an Ice Cream shop that only opened at 11. In fairness to the ice cream shop, it was a bit of a showstopper, but we only figured that one out after spending a few hours walking around.

The 7 of us trundled up the coast until we reached the end of the pavement and the start of a mountain pass, following along the line of lights which we’d seen from the island the night before. After turning around and heading back, we only had to wait a few more minutes for the ice cream shop, Antica Torre, to open. We huddled around the door like lemmings whilst the owners skirted around us to get the signs and table decorations put out in time for 11.

I opted for a Biscotti & Honey, but between us, we boxed off a few different flavours – Chocolate orange being a rich favourite of the group. A filled up, with cold tongues and sticky hands, we untied the boat, and headed further south down the lake – this time with Christian at the helm. At the bottom of the lake, we approached the restaurant, docked up, tied the boat up, and all dismounted, only to then be told by a man and his big fluffy dog that the restaurant was closed for the day. Unlike other points on the like the only thing to see at this specific dock, or in this area, was the restaurant, so we re-boarded untied & fired the engine up and set off again. Pip fancied a go on the boat, so we all get a crash course in boat driving, although it’s not all that difficult. Andrew’s really quick instructions seemed a bit fleeting at the time, however, in reality, there was one stick for Ford and a steering wheel to turn. Pip took off and Dock well, smoothly, and I will seem pretty much in control. As we ate away from the dock, she started to slowly increase the speed before everything changed. All of a sudden her face went from smiles and sunshine to intense fear, and she very quickly exclaimed that she didn’t want to be doing anymore before passing off the wheel to me. I don’t mind in the slightest, as it meant I got a turn on the boat which was still a bit of a novelty at this point.

Arriving by boat

I took us up the western side of the lake and approached a lovely-looking restaurant fronting the lake. The closer we got, the less familiar the dock looked. The owner of the restaurant came out, wrapped up in a gilet, and gestured to us to pull the boat around and into the dock almost like valet parking. I did a bit of manoeuvring and pulled us up to the restaurant dock, where the owner grabbed our ropes and helped tie the boat up, whilst we all clambered out. It’s a shame the restaurant only had one other couple in because pulling up in a boat and hopping out for lunch felt pretty cool!

We didn’t know it a the time, but with the benefit of hindsight – this was one of the restaurants that Andrew our host, had recommended to us. 4 white wines, 2 red & a prosecco arrived at the table as we all awaited our mains. I opted for a seafood tagliatelle, Beth & Christian went for a rather unique-looking black sauced garlic dish with really rich flavours & thick noodles, and everyone else went for a wild boar dish. All of them were gorgeous, and I’d go as far as to say mine was the best meal I’d had that week! As we waited for the bill, I used a bit of bread to mop up my plate leaving it hard to believe there was ever any food in it. The couple behind us saw this and said “In Italian – Scarpetta”, which I awkwardly laughed at given that I presumed it had something to do with having a clean plate or being hungry, but it only once I googled it back at the villa that I realised how perfect a word it was… “sopping up all the sauce left on your plate (or in the pot) with bread.”

We paid up, reboarded the boat and took off back to the island. Everyone did their own thing for a while – books came out, photos got edited, TV shows caught up on via a singular MacBook, and I put the wetsuit on to have a little swim. The lake was still as cold as yesterday if a patch warmer, but the wetsuit took the edge off. I splashed around – out and back, side to side. The occasional boat put me on pause as the giant wakes bobbed me up and down. I have an irrational fear of deep natural water, so 20 minutes was enough for me. I don’t know what was worse – looking down and seeing the bottom near the villa, or looking down and seeing murky grey further out. For what it’s worth – the lake was incredibly clean. 2nd the cleanest lake in Europe.

Fireside

Nigel’s lingering cough/chest infection got worse over the day – no doubt made worse by his cold dip on Sunday and the cold return from the failed supermarket run later that day.

Given that this was one of the coldest days of the week – unseasonably cold – I got the fire lit for the evening. There were perfectly portioned kindling stacks on the balcony, little slices of wood, and giant logs all lined up. They made for an easy light, and within 10 minutes the room was filled with the beautiful-sounding crackle and pops of a roaring fire. Everyone soon congregated, and cheese, wine & crackers followed later on.

Wednesday 24th May

Wednesday marked another still morning, so I took the opportunity to get my wetsuit wet and go for a swim. I’d love to say that the tranquil lake, gorgeous scenery and birds swooping around the lake made for a beautiful swim, but with my head buried in the water wondering what was at the bottom looking up at me, I didn’t spend all too long in there. The lake was still pretty brisk – the edge is taken off by the wetsuit, but your hands, feet and cheeks all feel it. 4/500 meters of splashing around, before coming back in for a scorching hot shower.

Antibiotics

On the opposite end of the scale, Nige was having a pretty bad time with his chest and cough this morning. So much so that Teresa sought the help of Andrew to try and locate a GP/Doctor or pharmacy that could assist in treatment – namely antibiotics. As it turns out, tomorrow (Thursday) was a bank holiday in Italy. Given the laid-back nature of Italy, that also meant that most institutions were on reduced hours or closed today as well! Go figure.

A bit of back and forth, translations, voice notes, behind-the-scenes calls and a few instructions later, we all hopped in the boat to go to the mainland. Teresa & Nige took a beeline for the pharmacy under the instruction of Andrew, and the rest of us climbed up Sacro Monte.

Sacro Monte

Vic, Beth, Christian, Pip & I all wound up the cobbled paths towards Sacro Monte – passing some beautiful villas and private residences on the way up. The cobbled staircase leads up to a giant archway welcoming you in. We stopped off for a photoshoot opportunity, as the top of the hill perfectly overlooks our island and villa.

“A sequence of twenty chapels surrounded by nature illustrates some episodes of the life of St. Francis, with sculptures and paintings. The chapels are distributed along a route that runs along the hilltop, offering spectacular views on the lake and on San Giulio Island.“

The first idea for a Sacro Monte in Orta dates back to 1583, modelled after the religious itinerary of the Sacro Monte of Varallo. It only became reality in 1590, thanks to the contribution of Abbot Amico Canobio from Novara, and according to the project of Capuchin architect Cleto from Castelletto Ticino. From 1593 to 1615, Bishop Carlo Bascapé of Novara became the main actor of the building process, setting an indelible stamp on the Sacro Monte. He established the sequence of mysteries to be built inside the chapels, he defined the architecture of the complex, in close cooperation with Cleto, and he invited renowned artists to work in Orta.”

Cinema on the wall

Next up, Legro. Why?

With the title “The Cinema on the Wall”, the small hamlet of the main town of Orta San Giulio has been part of over 200 Italian towns with walls frescoed by artists of national fame or by unknown painters who have followed the courses in fresco technique.

Strewn across walls, buildings, roofs, and street signs and tagged onto churches and town halls were decorative, intricate and wholly varied works of art, spraypainted around this tiny little hamlet. If you were driving past in a car, you’d be in and out and have missed it all in around 20 seconds.

We tracked back a different way down, avoiding the busy main roads and roundabout (and 3* Michelin restaurants) in favour of cobbled footpaths leading straight to the centre of Orta San Giulio. Timed to perfection, we met Nige & Teresa in the square – they’d been on a different kind of adventure; one that involved a taxi up to Omenga (at the northern tip of the lake), being rushed into various doctors’ offices and pharmacies before being prescribed 8 days of antibiotics, all without a penny being paid.

The 7 of us tracked down a nice spot in the square for a coffee macchiato in the sun (the first Sun of the holiday almost!)

Fish & chips

After heading back, freshening up and putting on some rare summery outfits, we popped across to the island restaurant – the only one on the island, which isn’t surprising given the size, but great for them! Down 2 flights of stairs from the island path, down to the read of the restaurant which overlooks the lake. Nigel, unfortunately, didn’t join us, instead starting his course of antibiotics and having a well-needed lie-down.

Most of us ordered a fish and chips – we used and ahed about whether this was a bit of a ‘default’ order, when on holiday. Whether we should have gone for something more local, and less generic, but when the plates arrived, we realised we couldn’t have gone more ‘local’. There were chips, which we expected, but what we didn’t expect was what was scattered amongst them. Bits of fried salmon, as well as whole fish (head, tail and body) about the size of whitebait. Not one to leave a full plate, I polished them off. Closed my eyes, popped the entire thing in my mouth and crunched through the bones, heads & tail fins. It was an experience, but on the whole, the dish was tasty!

Last of the sun run

I snook in another run that afternoon, to enjoy the last of the sun for the day. Beth and Christian dropped me off at an alternative port, given that the main port was being renovated by a giant repair ship driving piles into the shallow water.

I followed the same route I had done earlier in the week – partly to avoid getting lost and partly to try and steal a KOM I’d come close to accidentally (Spoiler: I didn’t – I only managed 2nd). It all went smoothly apart from getting blocked at the end by some tree fellers. I found an alternative route which took me across a Ford, only to end up in someone’s back garden with soggy feet. I doubled back and found a way around.

As we settled in for the night, Christian started work on a gorgeous carbonara – Pip and I hopped in the boat to pick up more wine, the girls set and laid the table, and Nige tackled some bits and bobs as he started to feel a bit more himself. The tea was gorgeous, and we closed off the night with some 20Qs and Sherades! A week without a TV changes you!

Thursday 25th May

28

This was a special week all around, but Thursday the 25th marked an even more special day, as it was Pip’s 28th birthday!????????. Certainly not one she’ll forget anytime soon – on a private Italian island home to a Nun’s convent, surrounded by her entire family and gorgeous scenery. Plus, as a little bonus, the nicest day of the week! I made Pip a coffee in bed, then scuttled off to find her first gift of the day – Birthday Balm dot com lip balm. Because illness had spread around the entire family (Bar Vic), Pip went to sniff the lip balm, and nothing happened apart from the faint sound of a bunged-up sniffle. Once we both woke up over our Moka Pot Coffee, and her senses started to come back to her, she gave it a second attempt; it smelt exactly like the icing sugar atop a birthday cake.

A while later, once everyone was up, we did presents in the lounge. Pip came down in her new Pyjamas, which her sisters had gifted her earlier in the week, then I went first with my set of presents that I’d wrapped, packed and flown over in preparation. Pip opened her card, which included a little present with a clue to her main gift. The present is a coaster of the Clifton Suspension bridge, with hot air balloons speckled over it. Granted, it wasn’t immediately obvious it was the Clifton suspension bridge, but after a few clues and opening it up to the room, we all landed on Bristol. Not only that, but we’d be going during the Balloon Fiesta! Next up, is a gorgeous sunflower Tote bag from Pip’s cousin; LDM Design. Finally, something she’d hinted towards a few months prior; a Gold & Emerald watch, which perfectly suited her necklace & earrings.

Paddleboard

After presents and a light breakfast, Pip had the idea to bring down the Paddleboard which was hoisted up in the boat dock. Christian & I tackled that, whilst she put her hair up and donned my Wet Suit. After a bit of figuring out, we concluded the best way to mount the board without falling in or cracking any heads on the dock. I would hold it tight to the dock, whilst Pip slid on and got herself comfy. I pushed her off and handed her an oar. It was surprisingly shaky when stood up. Sat down was a breeze, until boats and their wake went past, however. We all took turns, as Pip slid out of the wetsuit and passed it off to Beth, & Vic & Teresa waited patiently for their slot at paddling around. The sun was rising over Orta, which made for quite a scenic float around.

After some warm showers and a change of clothes, it was all of our jobs to keep Pip occupied in the lounge as, unbeknownst to her, Teresa had gone off to collect her preordered 7-person Tiramisu cake, complete with added Tesco Candles. It looked incredible, and certainly stood out as being a bit different than a standard birthday cake! A few rounds of Happy Birthday, and a blowing out of the candles later, we stashed it in the fridge to save it for an after-dinner treat.

Sound of Orta

We all headed over to Orta, shortly after, and split up to explore it independently. Pip & I wandered around Orta together. Past the church and through the windy streets, before following a footpath that seemingly led into private property. It looked so much like the meadows from the sound of music that we (Pip) had to pose for it before we both sheepishly scuttled out of someone’s driveway and had to rejoin the path.

We looped around the eastern side of the island before coming back into Orta for a salami sandwich we’d planned out the day before – a touch more wandering led us to ‘the Palace’ for a coffee with a difference. The waiters all had eccentric purple jackets on, and our ‘Due Cappuccino’ ended up both coming with a pour of Sparkling water, a Hazelnut Liqueur shot and two biscuits each. Ironically, the coffee was rather run-of-the-mill, but the experience was nice.

We met up with everyone else at the Ceramic shop where we’d previously purchased our sunflower trinket. This time, we went off and got two house signs, a 4 and a 0, for Chaigley Road. The heavens opened and the wind picked up – within minutes, the funny looks we’d been getting all day for our thinly dressed clothing choices were becoming justified, as we all huddled under the town square to the sound of an opportunistic saxophonist, before braving the journey back.

Solitaire & tiramisu

We all played Solitaire together en masse after getting back, accompanied by brews. Pip and I took the boat out for a spin, and to get ice cream from Pella. On our travels, we spotted a little swan, totally unphased by our aquatic presence. In Pella, I got a large cone of Panera and pistachio, whilst Pip got a medium Panera and Crema (Panera being a coffee biscotti type mix, and the Crema being a lemony type flavour. Pistachio speaks for itself). I tracked the boat ride – our max speed was 26knots, which is only 30mph. Crazy, considering how fast it feels with the wind in your hair.

We were booked in, loosely, to La Campana for tea and Pips’ birthday meal. Nobody opted for the house special again, and instead, we went for varying degrees of hotness salami types – Diavolina and Viagra. Accompanied by 2x ½ litres of white and red wine. The whole meal came to 95 euros, with a service charge! You can’t say fairer than that. When we left, the smell and taste of smoke were in the air, to which Nige said “They’re burning some more pizzas”. He seemed a lot better today, thankfully!

We had a slow and serene lap of the island on the route back, before tucking into the almost 16-person Tiramisu.

Plenty of Solitaire, photo sharing, Instagraming and reading to follow!

Friday 26th May

The penultimate day, and we awoke to rain. As far as plans for the day go, none of us had any! Faced with the prospect of spending the next 12 hours in the Villa, I decided to map out a run to fill the morning. I’m not a fan of ‘out-and-back’ routes, and this was about as far removed from that as you can get insofar as it requires being dropped off at one side of the lake in Pella, running around the southern tip, and being picked up in Orta. I could have done the same route from the other day and been self-sufficient, but given nobody had plans, I didn’t feel too bad about asking Christian to ferry me to and from the start and finish of my run.

Logistically, it’s a bit foggy, but thankfully Christian and I love using the boat, so any trip is exciting, however short or choreful it may be.

Half a lap

The run itself was lovely – flat to start, with a light cooling mist in the air, then it ramped up as I looped around the bottom. The run was mostly coastal, 80% on neat off-road paths. I took a detour up Torre di Buccione on the home leg then timed it almost perfectly with Christian picking me up in the boat.

Al Boec

Pip and I finished Baby Reindeer in Bed, although the finale isn’t exactly a bright and cheery setup for the day. Fits the mood of the rainclouds though.

After spending the rest of the day relaxing, chatting and finishing books, playing cards and filling the day, we showered and got ready for tea. We left at half 6 to a wine bar on the mainland – Al Boec – apparently 500 years old, and with dozens of wine bottles adorning the walls. We picked out a Pecchenino and enjoyed it between us along with complementary meats, olives and feta. After, 5 of us went over to Il Pozzo (Teresa, Nige, Pip, Vic & I), & Beth and Christian went off to a Michelin-star restaurant for a bit of fine dining!

We had 4 Formaggio pizzas, which were Gorgeous, filling and a lovely way to spend the final night! Back home in the rain.

Saturday 27th May

Final day! Up, packed, fed and caffeinated all before half 9. I went for a wander around the island to get my steps in as I was worried I might not get a chance today and decided to photograph every silence sign. for context, as you walk around the island, there are little signs that hang from the walls, each with a little message in 4 languages. Halfway round, I realised they were dual-sided and so had to do another lap to get the full message!

Island of silence

The island of silence welcomes you

Listen to the silence

The way of the silence

Listen to the water, the wind, your steps

If you can be yourself, you are everything

In the silence you accept and understand

The wise man errs and smiles

Be simple, be yourself

In the silence you receive all

Silence is the language of love

Accept yourself, grow, ripen

Silence is the peace of oneself

Leave yourself and what is yours

Silence is music and harmony

The moment is present, here (at) now

Silence is truth and prayer

Open your being

Walls are in the mind

In the silence you meet the master

Every journey begins near to you

When you are aware, the journey is over

Over to the island, and after an unsuccessful croissant run, we opted for Il Pozzo again for coffees to shelter from the impending rain. I got the Marrocchino Al chocolate which was a thick melted chocolate espresso-type cup.

We wandered around Orta for a while and stocked up on some sandwiches from the shop we visited the other day, to sustain us in the airport. Speaking of, after a smooth ride over, we arrived at the airport, where we all flocked around the complementary limoncello stand after breezing security. I saw Gillian, my friend’s mum, at the airport, as she returned from 4 days with her friend in Northern Italy!

Pillowcase presents

Once back at the Tinkers, Pip opened presents from her parents. Neither of them had wrapped them, so it made for a comical sight as Teresa got an old pillowcase and had Pip pick them out of it one by one!

A shout out to Nick, who at some point during the evening completed the Rivi Brewery Backyard Ultra – 52 miles of running over 11 hours!